Thursday, 31 October 2013

Ozzie Cooks Da Pig (Fall Coronation 2010)

By THLaird Colyne Stewart

Ozzie is a Scottish bear hand puppet who resides in Ardchreag.

It was way too early to be up, I dunno what those people were thinking about. What sane person gets up so early to start cooking? So sleepy, but I cooked real good. That Mahault was in charge, she had good plan, everything laid out. I cut vegetables, I wash dishes. I sneak candied ginger when no one looking. Makes me hyper. More hyper. I runs around in circles, then that Mahault says if I gots so much energy I can wash chick peas. Lots and lots of chick peas. I fall in the pot of chick peas, and almost drown. Gross.

When I gets out da Arrochar House cleans me up. My kilt is all gucky. I has to change into poncey cotehardie. Lots of buttons. Takes half hour to do them all up. They look like chick peas.

Apparently feast is liked. I don’t see it. I sleeping by that time in back of kitchen, up on high shelf where no one can see me. Nappy time. I’m big time chef, though Mahault help too.

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