Ozzie Cooks Da Pig (Fall Coronation 2010)

By THLaird Colyne Stewart

Ozzie is a Scottish bear hand puppet who resides in Ardchreag.

It was way too early to be up, I dunno what those people were thinking about. What sane person gets up so early to start cooking? So sleepy, but I cooked real good. That Mahault was in charge, she had good plan, everything laid out. I cut vegetables, I wash dishes. I sneak candied ginger when no one looking. Makes me hyper. More hyper. I runs around in circles, then that Mahault says if I gots so much energy I can wash chick peas. Lots and lots of chick peas. I fall in the pot of chick peas, and almost drown. Gross.

When I gets out da Arrochar House cleans me up. My kilt is all gucky. I has to change into poncey cotehardie. Lots of buttons. Takes half hour to do them all up. They look like chick peas.

Apparently feast is liked. I don’t see it. I sleeping by that time in back of kitchen, up on high shelf where no one can see me. Nappy time. I’m big time chef, though Mahault help too.

I’d Like my Khan Boiled, Please (Ealdormere War Practice, 2002)

Mahault van der Eych

"Feelin' hot, hot, hot!" I think that's the best way to start this report. We arrived on site Thursday afternoon, hoping to get the tent set up before the rain came. We were in a bit of a panic because it was raining in the west end and Kyle told us his neighbor's lawn had just been struck by lightning. We wanted to get our tent up before everyone else came so we would have a dry base for everyone to use for their set up. If all failed, we'd live in it for a while!

Thankfully, my usual trust of the weather forecast was betrayed because the rain never did come. What did, however, was some of the hottest weather we've seen for a long time in Ealdormere! Even Iolanda was complaining about the heat! Humidex readings of 42 or more wiped out even the best of us. My faith in weathermen betrayed, I rushed to the store to buy a hat. Unfortunately, I missed out on the latest trend, sported by the ever fashionable Wolfgang... pastel sun bonnets. Her Majesty was so pleased with his attire, she commanded him to return to Her with it, bearing flowers next time!

My faith, however, held fast in my friends and Canton-mates. Despite the heat, the lack of water, the crowds, everyone I saw had a huge grin pasted on his or her face. Laughter and silliness abounded in the Autocrat's camp! Thursday night we hosted the Blair Witch (or did she host us?). Friday night saw the creation of a thirst-quenching treat "Melibu's". Singing, laughing and sharing the fire helped renew bonds forged over the years. Saturday night, we reveled with the Galbraiths, flinging Vikings, quaffing mead and toasting marshmallows while being fed all sorts of yummy treats. We were even privileged to be included in the "vigiling" of Garraed Galbraith. Sunday was the Bardic Circle, where many Chreaggers were heard wailing and giggling throughout the camp. Sadly, we did not find any badgers.

What we did find was that we are without a doubt the coolest Canton going! From Bear's Claws to Bear's Hearts to AOA's, we were recognized for service and chivalry. The hard work and efforts of our friends shone through to light the path for the rest of us. I can't begin to list all the doings in court so I'll leave that to another report but I must say, the scribes and heralds were busy... I think we wore Streonwald out! Most moving was the ceremony for Mistress Rylyn, welcoming her into the Order of the Pelican. One of the things I treasure most about the SCA is the love we share for each other and the fact that we can stand up and show it. The speeches made about Mistress Rylyn brought many to tears. Speaking of tears, I think I saw a few glinting in a certain newly made Lady's eyes as she wandered back to the sewing class we interrupted...

Although the nights were busy (and silly), the days were jam packed with activities. From a re-enactment of the Battle of Hastings through the eyes of an archer to drilling for War, our field was full. Thorfinna and I even stumbled across something near and dear to us: axes! Being thrown! Yahoo! Spears, pole arms and swords bashed many a helm, with many sweaty, dizzy fighters kept well watered by the never-ceasing efforts of Melchior the Carver. Even the fencers, snappily attired as usual, crossed swords in the sun. Several gentles were admitted to the Academy, to the cheers of all.

Speaking of fighting, guess who authorized this weekend? That's right, all of us! Wat, Wolfgang, Berend and I gave it our best and have added our names to those who stand to defend the Kingdom, albeit on weekends... Wolfgang swore his fealty to His Majesty while Berend and I will stand shoulder to elbow in the shieldwall with our brothers and sisters of the Isengasitha (the Popsicle was orange, for anyone interested). I'm so proud of everyone; we did great! I'd like to think we were a credit to our long suffering teacher, Brandt. Without his hard work and effort, none of us would be in armour, let alone authorized and ready for War. I hope he sees in us some fulfillment of his dream to help, teach and share with others his love of the game.

Let it not be said that I have ignored my other passion, the Arts and Sciences! Well, I guess I might have, had Iolanda not driven me bananas all weekend... "You have 27 hours until you have to teach your class," "You now have 15 hours until your class". I'm sure you get the picture. I think I might have even been woken up in the wee hours by her muttering "Must get whiteboard. Must get whiteboard." Iolanda did a terrific job with the classes, with everything from soaps to juggling to Chinese herbs to Heraldry taught by many good gentles. Attendance varied for each class but the comments I heard were the same; "Wow, classes!" They even started on time!

As a parent, I find camping events quite challenging. Juggling cooking, cleaning up, entertaining the kids, and trying to get anything done is quite difficult. It's also very stressful for both kids and parents. Ivanna the Oblivious, who lived up to her name this year, was not oblivious to this. She was an absolute lifesaver this year, giving her all to organize fun, entertaining activities for the kids. From crafts to games to water balloons, she kept the munchkins happy all day! This meant a lot to me; allowing me to have some peace of mind and relax, knowing that the girls were in good hands. Wassail and thank you for doing such a necessary job!

If I missed mentioning someone or something, I apologize profusely. I was so overwhelmed with the amount of wonderful things that happened this past weekend that I'm still trying to sort them out. It's all pretty much a blur, thanks to Thorfinna, some Vanilla Coke and blue skies...



Mahault



Ready to kick butt for Septentria

Event Report: How Iolanda Got Her Groove Back Or How Not To Run An A&S Competition (Kingdom A&S 2001)

Mahault van der Eych

The weather promised a great deal as we loaded up the van and headed out for Rising Waters.  We hit the road about 7, with a brief stop to play "Freak The Mundanes" at the Golden Arches.   Arriving at about 9:30, we discovered the first of many disheartening facts about the competition.  Everything seemed so small!  The parking lot, the hall, even the room was tiny and cramped!  Not to be party poopers we set up our crafts.  Iolanda entered her now (in)famous bobbin lace, with a really delicate little pattern of hearts and the drinking horn she made for Berend (including a hand woven strap).  Normand was showing his chainmail (the coaster) that highlighted his skill and enjoyment very nicely.  Ivana entered in the Bardic competition with two recitations.  Berend set up the Osberg bed (on which Teah had a nap to demonstrate how it was used).  He also showed the Seax and Sicle he made.  I included some Viking soap and the jerkin and trunk hose that Berend wore to Coronation.

Once we set up our stuff, we wandered around the merchants for a bit and went for a walk around town.  We sat outside for lunch to watch some of the fighting, the weather was so nice!  We also spent quite a while admiring the work of several other craftspeople in the competition.  Berend and I had several really good conversations with other entrants about their items and learned quite a bit.

During the judging, Iolanda was informed her horn was "perfect" by none other than Domnail Galbraith!  I recieved some terrific feedback about my work which I really appreciated.  Normand and his new best friend,  Theign Cynred were seen muttering in dark corners about chainmail and were spotted later that day looking at Normand's "collection".  Hmmmm....

Now I'm no expert by any stretch of the imagination but I must say I was very disappointed in the competition and the event as a whole.  To begin with, the location was a difficult place to feel comfortable in, as it was the basement of a church and covered with religious paraphenalia.  We were told right away that we were not permitted to set up chairs and spent the entire day standing around feeling lost.   The event flyer informed us there would be Children's events which turned out to be very misleading; the children were expected to entertain themselves in the Nursery. 

The A&S Competition was also not what we expected.  There was no structure to the judging; it seemed that the judges were just grabbed out of the crowd to give a critique about the items.  Iolanda's bobbin lace judge actually knew less about it than her!  Part of the problem seemed to be the lack of a schedule for judging.  No-one knew if an item had been judged or if anyone was going to judge it.  We ended up spending the better part of the day standing around in the room waiting for someone to happen by.  I also felt that the A&S side of the event was being relegated to a corner and largely ignored.  The feeling I was left with was that hosting the A&S was a big inconvenience for the event autocrats.

I don't mean to sound like I'm trying to be nasty or hurtfull about the event.  I just feel very strongly about A&S and feel that if the event is not carefully planned, the impact will be felt by all involved.  We have so many talented artisans and craftspeople in Ealdormere and it seems quite a shame to not promote this side of the SCA as well as we can.  I spoke to several others at this event and the feelings I had were shared by them; if the event looks like this next year, we're not going to bother.

On the bright side, it was quite a lot of fun going on a road trip with Eirik, Iolanda, Normand and Ivana.  The silliness and singing really made up for what was a discouraging introduction to Kingdom A&S.  And the cheesecake incident was pretty funny! 

Event Report: Aaron and Rustique’s Coronation (2001)

On the Coronation of Aaron and Rustique

By Mahualt van der Eych


I pray you all gyue your audience
And here this matter will reuerence,
That of our lyues and endynge shewes
How transytory we be all our dayes.

Of pale and ghostly be our beloued Kynge,
Summer glorie passed in laue and courage,
Layed upon his brow his tarnyshed crowne,
With noble Qwen, fade as floure in Maye.

To Greyfells, by the water's edge,
Travelled divers and loyal subjects,
To honoure he who, wyth glorious myte,
Commanded Ealdormere.

Kynge Roak bade welcome us,
Wyth kynde and open wyse,
Qwen Carlotta, most beauteous still,
Face coloured full faire, did us greet.

"Behold my fine bolde knyghttys,
Strong of martial countenance,
In mine aged descent, did offer me great soulace,
And stood mighty, fierce at war."

With Lords of his lygeaunce, with justicez and gentle laurels,
Did Kynge Roak honoure Lady Helen of Greyfells,
And did give unto her a Laurel,
For wyseste and worthyest and wyghteste of hanndes.

Greate honoure awarded was that daye,
And great thankys gyven to divers vertuus nobles. 1
Many were the joyous faces turnd to baske,
Radiant glory shone from Roak and beauteous Carlotta.

Pall and ghastly saddnys many harts did fyll
For all our Kynges strength and blod soon stood still,
Greyf struck Carlotta, wept cold tears that daye,
By gracious mercy our Qwen too was swept away. 2

The empty crown, cold and byter thing,
Upon the thrown of Ealdormere did poorly laye,
Till Aaron, noble kinsman of our Kynge
Did rightly honour and destiny fullfyl. 3

Rustique, his noble lady and Qwen,
Fairest flour but on the field growes,
Shall graece the newe wrought
Throne of Ealdormere. 4

For thyr glory and joye,
Gentill knyghttes to tourney did go,
And wyth reuerence and ryotte all,
Bravely dysplayed the might of  Ealdormere.

To Kynges Towne did we small troupe salle,
For merriement and sweetmeats did we set forthe,
Thorfinna, wyth her ayxe in hande,
Did many a Celtic dauncer meete. 5

A gloryous feaste was layed afore us,
Manye and divers dishys did we devoure,
Wyth myrthe and wyth melodye of mynstrals noble,
My lord and I stuft fyt to burst seams.

I thankee for thine audience,
And here this matter anon will end,
Know that of our lyues and endyngs shewes,
How transytory we be all daye.

—————————————————————————————-

Colyne’s Annotations to Mahault’s most excellent verse:

Halfdan Blackanvil was made a Court Baron.

Due to a pact made at Pennsic, Roak had to make a blood sacrifice to sustain our land, and was burned in a wicker man.

Rustique approached the Thrones, where she found a frog. Upon kissing it Aaron appeared in a cloud of smoke.

New Thrones have been crafted by Dusty’s most talented Lady (her name unknown to me).

A group of us went hunting for ice cream and found ourselves in the middle of a Celtic street festival.