Showing posts with label ozzie. Show all posts
Showing posts with label ozzie. Show all posts

Thursday, 31 October 2013

Ozzie Cooks Da Pig (Fall Coronation 2010)

By THLaird Colyne Stewart

Ozzie is a Scottish bear hand puppet who resides in Ardchreag.

It was way too early to be up, I dunno what those people were thinking about. What sane person gets up so early to start cooking? So sleepy, but I cooked real good. That Mahault was in charge, she had good plan, everything laid out. I cut vegetables, I wash dishes. I sneak candied ginger when no one looking. Makes me hyper. More hyper. I runs around in circles, then that Mahault says if I gots so much energy I can wash chick peas. Lots and lots of chick peas. I fall in the pot of chick peas, and almost drown. Gross.

When I gets out da Arrochar House cleans me up. My kilt is all gucky. I has to change into poncey cotehardie. Lots of buttons. Takes half hour to do them all up. They look like chick peas.

Apparently feast is liked. I don’t see it. I sleeping by that time in back of kitchen, up on high shelf where no one can see me. Nappy time. I’m big time chef, though Mahault help too.